It’s human nature to want to be recognized, set apart, or seen as unique. We take great efforts to insure this happens throughout our life beginning with the very names we give to our children. Names are chosen to honor the child with the memory of some loved one who has gone before them.
With our special names we set out to make our mark in the world. As kids we decorate our bikes with streamers and flashing lights. We start to develop our own “style”. The haircut we get, our favorite color, the shirt we like.
Certain music talks to us. Certain entertainers or sports figures become our heroes. We decorate our homes, lockers, offices, all in such a way as to say “this is me”.
Why do we do this? Because we need to be noticed, appreciated. No one has ever existed in earth like you. This is something to be celebrated . . . this wonderful you. Parents, isn’t this your goal with your children? To raise happy, confident young persons who know who they are and what gifts they bring to the world? Of course.
But . . . . . . .
We must be careful here. Why is each human “special”? It comes from God making us in His image and from those who pour their love into us (parents, family, friends). To them we are special. As for the world . . . we happen to be just one of what?, six billion human beings living on this earth.
My point is “being special” comes from being who God made us to be and from being loved. Everyone needs to be loved. Where things can go wrong is thinking the world owes me love in the form of fun and excitement and boundless opportunity . . because “I’m special”.
I’m afraid we’re raising children in such a way that when life deals disappointment and heartache (and it certainly does), when the world turns cold and could care less about how unique they are, our young ones feel like they’ve been tricked. “This is not the world you told me I was entitled to!”
“This is hard. The world is not respecting me and my plans for life. Don’t they know “I’m special?”
This is where unhappiness happens for millions of people in our country. Life just didn’t turn out the way they thought. Somehow happiness was just supposed to hap- pen.
No thought was given to how you deal with failure and disappointment. They are given no concept of life as “struggle”, no resource to deal with life’s setbacks.
So what do many do? Some of the options available are:
- Get bitter. Life stinks and my mission in life, my contribution, is to let everyone know how unfair life is. Be a “bitter realist”
- Blame someone or something else for your problems. It’s the government, the school system, the coach, the current administration, the job market, etc.
- Drop out. Just stop trying. What’s the use? The world doesn’t care that I’m special, so why should I try? “I didn’t ask to be born.”
Parents, grandparents, here’s how you can help. Teach your children that life is real and earnest. It’s not a cake walk. You will teach them everything they need to succeed but only by their efforts will they carve their own path through life.
Yes, sometimes life is not fair. But strangely enough it’s in these moments when the wonderful virtue of CHARACTER happens. (The quality that comes when you keep trying in the face of disappointment, when you re- fuse to give in to bitterness and name calling).
Yes, you are special; not because you’re smart or cute or athletic or popular or funny or charming . . . it’s because God made you and put His image in you and wants you to love Him and everybody else till we see God in the “Great Wow” yet to come.
Oh Summertime ……………. Thank you Lord. Fr. Tim
