God gave us the sense of hearing. We share with the animal world a sense that alerts us to the world around us. We hear thunder and we know rain will soon fall. Sirens tell us of some emergency situation. Music soothes our soul or stirs emotion. A whisper gives us someone’s secret thought. To live without hearing is like eating a sugar free cookie. We lose the gusto and subtle meanings of life.
But, we take it for granted, don’t we? These days we are over loaded with sound. Our brains have to choose whether to merely “hear something” or to really “listen”. Remember Musak? It was that bland orchestra music that played on elevators to keep everyone calm waiting for their floor. Did you ever give it a listen? Of course not. No one ever said, “Oh, they’re playing my favorite song!”
It’s only when we LISTEN that we receive creation around us. To hear a bird’s song is different than listening to it. That bird . . . is singing . . . its song! How lovely.
Our brains make that same choice with people; whether to merely hear them, or to really listen to them?
We’ve all developed skills that give the impression we’re listening. We nod at the right times; we comment as appropriate. But, many times we’re simply waiting for our chance to start talking. Or hearing one or two sentences we think we already know what someone is going to say. And rather than listen, we’re preparing our response to them while they’re still talking.
That’s why, to truly listen is a gift to the one who is speaking. Have you had the experience of being listened to? What did it do for you?
I bet it touched you; gave you the feeling that you had connected with someone. Being listened to (especially with a friend) can lighten our burden – – Finally! Someone else knows what I’ve been carrying. Now you both carry it.
By the way . . . that’s one of the healing powers of telling your sins to Christ in Confession.
Yes, God gets in here too.
Sometimes, when we really listen, we hear something from the Holy Spirit. Something God wants us to hear. I’ve had that experience. A friend came to me at a very busy moment as I prepared for an important interview. “Tim, listen to me” he said. “I have to tell you something. They’re going to push your buttons. Stay calm and don’t be a wise guy.” I listened; and it was just what I needed at that moment. The Holy Spirit used my friend.
So husbands/wives. Listen, really listen to each other. You don’t have to fix things right then. Your full attention to what she’s saying is a gift. You might even reflect her feelings with words like, “that must have really surprised/ shocked/bothered/helped/made you happy.”
To be listened to is wonderful. Try it with your children. Withhold judgement for those moments . . . just listen. They’ll know you are with them in whatever they are going through. Scripture tells us, “bear one another’s burdens.” Galatians 6:2.
As you develop your listening skills, it will improve your prayer as well. You will look back over your day to see those moments when you heard something God wanted you to hear.
. . . . If you were listening.
Bless you.
Fr. Tim
