Some time ago, in a previous parish, I lived and worked with an old retired pastor. He was revered as a priest who knew his parishioners and had that “golden touch” with people who were troubled or lost. People flocked to him to receive his gentle wisdom.
He had one particular habit however that bugged me. At the end of every mass he celebrated on Sunday he’d tell the congregation, “Be sure to share your smile”. It was his sign off. People waited for these last words from him.
As for me I thought how “corny” it was. It was just too simple. I mean for all the problems we face, for all the worries we have for the coming week, for all the problems of the world . . . all you can say is “share your smile”?!
Over the years I have come to realize the old priest was right. A smile has a hidden spiritual power. It speaks a universal language. Everyone knows what a smile means. Webster defines it as “a favorable, pleasing, or agreeable appearance; characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth.”
And what does this “upward curving of the mouth” say? It says “you’re worth it. You are not invisible. You’re a fellow human being and I’m sending you my good wishes.”
It can literally change a person’s day. Suddenly someone has seen me and cares enough to offer me a tiny “be well”. A smile disarms us of our fears, touches us briefly with kindness, and becomes a light in the midst of gray and shadow.
Some people have that gift in spades. They have a wonderful smile.
I remember a seminarian who sometimes worried whether he had the pastoral skills needed but who had something the rest of the class lacked – – – he had a magical smile that brightened any room he walked into.
You just feel better when someone smiles at you, don’t you? So why don’t we do that more often? I think it’s because:
- We’re afraid. We’re afraid of being “misinterpreted” or frowned upon or ignored.
- We’re self- absorbed. “I’ve got too many things on my mind right now. Too much to do. You stay in your lane; I’ll stay in mine.” And
- We think we have an ugly smile. Forget it. A real smile is never ugly.
So how do we get over our fear and self-absorption in order to give the gift of a smile? Some thoughts:
- Your smile is a tiny gift, which any person is worthy to receive.
- Someone giving you a smile lifts your spirit, right? So do that for someone else.
- Giving a smile is an act of kindness and makes you a better person. (And it often lifts the mood of the smiler!)
- It costs nothing.
- You’re prettier when you smile.
- Don’t care or expect it to be returned.
- The best dogs can do is wag their tail – – – only people can smile (so what’s holding us back?)
- A smile softens everything. It takes the edge off clumsy words or awkward moments.
So I’m going to work on my smile this new year. I’m not going to expect people to return it. After all it’s a gift. And should I forget maybe your smile will remind me.
So I’ll end this column like that old pastor . . . “be sure to share your smile.”
God’s smile upon you.
Fr. Tim
