(This is an oldie, but the message still applies)

So here we go . . . the mad dash to Christmas. I’m sure you saw the pictures of people (perhaps you were there yourself) waiting in line to begin shopping.

Adding to the frenzy is the dismantling of the firewall around Thanksgiving. This holiday has traditionally been most pristine in observing family traditions — the parade, visits to grandparents, football, the table, the turkey, the prayer (“okay, everybody say what they’re thankful for.”)

Not anymore. It’s just like any other day now. “Stores are open for your shopping convenience. Get a head start on your Christmas gift list. Have that turkey, then join us for our huge holiday savings!” One poor fellow was quoted in the paper, “I know it’s Thanksgiving but I have to buy my kids some stuff.”

Somehow we’ve gotten things out of order. The tail is wagging the dog.

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There’s a remedy for this. It’s called Advent. These next

four weeks are a time of waiting, reflecting, praying. It is a time where, with God’s humble birth soon to come, our hearts can soften and a freshness to life be restored. It is a joyful time of expectation. Advent is sort of like that happy buzz in the theatre while everyone waits for the curtain to go up.

So how can you celebrate “waiting”? What rituals help us understand “expectation”? Advent helps us experience what we call “less”. Or another way to express it . . . “without”. Here are some suggestions to help your Ad- vent waiting. (I don’t mean to sound like a Grinch here but I think these will help prepare for the great Feast of Christmas).

• Avoid the “Christmas Specials” on television…the ones that have Santa and huge happy endings with everyone singing and clapping. It’s not Christmas yet.
• Avoid listening to the popular carols (Jingle Bells, We wish you a Merry C, Joy to the World, Silent Night, etc.). Christ hasn’t come yet. Handel’s Messiah is great Advent music.
• “Small”, “Quiet”, “Slow” are good. (Big, Loud, and Fast tends to get us tense and anxious.)
• Red and gold throughout the house says Christmas . . . try silver, blue and purple during Advent. I sound like Martha Stewart!!
• “Secrets” are great ways to prepare for the Christ Child. Do something really nice for someone. Do it in such a way that they will never discover you were the one who did it!
• Lower your expectations. This will NOT be. .”the best Christmas ever!” It will be good and holy in just the way God wants it to be for you . . . if you practice the Advent spirit.
• Teach the children/grandchildren to appreciate the small and humble way God chose to come to us. Find some small little task to do with a child to “get ready” for the Feast. (Bring your child to church during the week; light a candle for someone they choose and say a prayer).
• Sadness often comes at Advent. We’ve all suffered some loss that the season puts us in touch with. Let any Advent sadness we have soften our hearts for others. There is always someone who suffers more than me. Pray for them in the midst of your sadness.
• You are your best gift to others. You can bring a new freshness to your affection for people. Let yourself be renewed by the wonderful quiet and smallness of Advent.

Go slow. God bless you!

Fr. Tim

I’ve said many times that creating a family and raising children is the toughest job in the world. Parents are heros. One of the things that makes family life such a challenge is the culture we live in. Its values and goals so often conflict with the life experiences we want our children to have.

Most parents want the “best” for their family. But what is the best? Current social norms encourage families to “go for it all”. Sports, social media, cell phones, video games, internet browsing, cable TV are all part of the fabric of young family life.

Each in themselves can be harmless and, at best, recreational and restorative. But, as in all things, “too much” causes overload and the breakdown of the peaceful flow of human relationships.

It was recently reported that teens were spending more time on the computer and cell phones than in daily sleep! A local college chaplain told me the biggest challenge he had in helping his young students was to get them to put down their cell phones and iPads to talk to each other!

In all this, we are losing something precious . . . the fun and satisfaction of talking and relating with each other. Strong measures to correct this are needed and will, at times, take courage and wisdom to deal with the resistance.

One step you can take is the family meal (especially on Sunday). Does your family have dinner together? Maybe not every night given people’s crazy schedules – – – but more times than not during the week, families should sit at table to eat and share stories about the day or upcoming events.

It’s not that any one hilarious story or deeply meaningful comment will happen; that’s not the point. What’s happening is the wider event — we’re caring for each other. We’re learning about our lives together. The dinner table is where we show each other “I’ve got your back”, “We are a family”.

Think back. I bet you could tell five really good stories about your dinner table growing up. Funny stories, stories of tears and melt downs, stories of deep sharing. Parents it’s up to you to show your children how important dinner together is. You’re there to create memories.

One pastor I served under (a difficult man at times) insisted that I be at table for dinner at the rectory. I bristled at first, wanting to watch the evening news and eat on my own schedule. These meals over time let me see the really good man my pastor was.

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Here’s an old Dinner Table Story from Fr. Tim’s youth. We had a dog named “Penny”, a copper colored weiner dog. This dog had free run of the back yard and, as dogs do, Penny would leave her “droppings” everywhere.

As we headed out to play, mom would remind us to “watch where we stepped”. Well guess who didn’t? No sooner had we finished Grace before meal, that the odor told everyone someone had “stepped in it”. “Check your shoes everybody” dad would say. Yes, it was me. No shouting or finger pointing . . . just go clean off your shoes or even better take them off. Returning to the table, the offense having been removed, we all could enjoy our dinner.

I’ve told Fr. John this is the perfect image of Purgatory (you can’t sit at the Banquet of Heaven with “you know what” on your shoes). Clean ’em off and you’re welcome at the table. He’s not buying it.

God loves you very much.

Fr. Tim

The work of a parish priest gives the chance to observe people in many different life situations.

The elderly smile and shine with pride when their children and grandchildren are home visiting, the steely de- termination of parents as they sacrifice for their children, and nervous newly engaged couples approaching the church to plan their wedding. Also, a stay in the hospital tends to bring out anyone’s true colors. We priests see it all.

But the ones that touch me the most are our young children and teens. They’re so “out there”, so new and raw, so . . . wonderfully goofy. Let’s marvel for a moment at our young ones.

Doesn’t it kill you when . . .

• They smile that kid’s smile. It’s radiant without their knowing it. The smile doesn’t have the slightest notion of what we know (that heartache isn’t too far down the road.) “Oh,” we say, “If only they could stay here.” So beautiful.
• A young person shows off some talent or favorite activity getting friends or family to smile and applaud.
• The girls break into singing the current youth “anthem” at a party or game. They’re so free in that happy way.
• The boys power down unbelievable amounts of spaghetti and get hungry 20 minutes later.
• The whole school turns out for a prayer service for one of their sick classmates.
• They try putting on some idea of adult behavior just to see how it feels.
• They collapse in tears and fall into your arms . . . and still want you near them.
• After days of whining and selfishness they come out of themselves and do something amazingly thoughtful for someone. “Yay! It’s working!”, parents think for a moment.

And don’t you wish you could . . . . . you know . . . control their lives!

• Spare them the hurt you know life eventually hands out?
• Let them see what you see in them (how wonderful they are)?
• Give them the confidence they need without them having to earn it through trial and error?
• Choose their friends?
• Spare them bad, impulsive choices?
• Find the perfect job, boyfriend, girlfriend, roommate?
• Get them to experience God’s Spirit working in their life?
• Ensure their happiness and safety throughout their lives?

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So the question for parents and grandparents is this:

Do you think God is any less in love with these children than you? He made them!! He loved them so much He gave each of them an irrepeatable personality, style, and soul. He loved them so much . . . God gave them YOU.

Jesus was serious when he said, “Watch the wild flowers grow . . . they neither spin nor worry . . . yet not even King Solomon is as beautiful as these. Won’t God be sure to watch over you?” Luke 12:27-28

BUT! “Seek FIRST my will in your life,” says the Lord. “And these other things will come to pass.”

What’s God’s part? He is the Good Shepherd leading us and our children. What’s our part? To hear his voice . . . and follow.

God is with you. Trust Him.

Fr. Tim

It’s scary sometimes how deeply we can feel anger or resentment toward someone or some situation. I’m not talking about being “annoyed” or “frustrated”, something you wish were different but “hey, we’ll deal with it.”

No this goes deeper. It surprises us with how hot it gets us; our reactions can be so strong that we say or do something that has devastating effects, sometimes for years.

Try this one out – – did this ever happen in your family? It did mine. I was a teenager (I’m guessing 13 or 14 yrs. old). I can’t even remember the issue now (some minor “no” to something I wanted to do); but I remember the flash of intense anger I felt and the words I spoke to my mother.

“I hate you!” I said. “I wish I had a different mother!” (I’m feeling the shame of those words as I type this). My mother of course, being the adult and knowing her son could be a spiteful boy, walked away from this awful moment (perhaps to cry).

I look back on this incident some 50 yrs. ago and wonder how my parents didn’t put me up for sale! How can anger be so strong? How does it completely overwhelm our reason and better instincts? I don’t know. It just does.

It may go back millennia to the fury we needed to survive in the hostile environment of the animal wilderness.

What I do know is . . . it is NOT God’s will that we act that way. Rather, “Get rid of all bitterness, passion and anger, no more hateful feelings. Instead, be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another.” Ephesians 4:31.

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This is exactly what my mother did. And in doing this selfless act of parenting she saved her son. Years later I would recall that moment to her and how her sad but silent walking away showed how much she loved me.

I tell this story because I know some families who have allowed words (thoughtlessly spoken) to become a giant chasm between parent and child or brothers or sisters. For some it has been years since family members have spoken to each other. As I say, it’s frightening how one moment of heated exchange can cost a lifelong friendship or worse, a brother or sister or parent.

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This same toxic anger is afflicting our political conversation. Both sides are infected, Democrats and Republicans. Each sees the opposing side as not just wrong or “misguided”, but they are seen rather as the enemy whose heart is wicked and whose intentions are cruel.

So long as we see our opponents as lacking character or moral goodness, there is little hope we can work to solve our common problems.

New effort must be constantly put forth to repair or renew tattered relationships – – – no matter how many times it takes. This is hard work and requires a basic trust in our neighbor’s goodness.

Where do we get the will to start again with that “stupid Democrat” or “blind Republican” or “foul mouthed child”? It comes in knowing that, despite present appear- ances (!), this is a Child of God. Christ shed his blood for them and for me.

So as scripture tells us we now have peace through the blood of Christ. “With his own body (Christ) broke down the wall that kept them enemies.” Eph. 2:14. In other words he died for us all.

If he refuses no one his redeeming love, can we?

Lord help us to turn the other cheek. It is your beloved child who strikes us.

God bless your week.

Fr. Tim

So there’s a lull in a conversation with friends and someone you know, but not all that well, asks you, “Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?” Everything stops, doesn’t it? Like a sudden wind that knocks you off balance, you struggle to respond in some appropriate way but you really are at a loss for words.

Catholics especially find it hard to answer this question. “I THINK I HAVE” might be our answer. Pressed further as to when and where you accepted Jesus someone might say “Well, I go to mass on Sunday”, “I don’t cheat anybody.” “I give to the United Way.” “Oh I don’t know.”

I don’t think it’s through any lack of faith that one is left in confusion. It’s just that we show our religion and faith in a different way. Taking Holy Communion at mass is probably the premiere moment for Jesus and me in the week. Yes, THERE HE IS, my Lord and Savior!

(Chances are, our inquiring friend would not understand this answer.) . . . And just before that we turn to each other and say, “The Peace of Christ be with you!” and we smile at each other and somehow I feel Jesus is with us.

That’s it. That’s Jesus and me. And is He my Lord and Savior? Of course He is!

However. . . that’s not enough. You see our faith is a gift that is meant to be shared. Christianity is not just about “Jesus and me”, it’s about Jesus, you and me, all of us together. Why else would Jesus leave the 99 safe in the meadow to search out the lost sheep?

So how do we uptight Catholics begin to share our faith? It starts with an attitude of affection. We have to like our neighbor, to genuinely care how they are, to be hap- py when they are happy and sad when they are sad. Not that everyone is our best friend, but everyone can count on us to be in their corner.

We want goodness to find Once we have our neighbor fixed in our hearts as “brother” or “sister”, we can speak to them as to a friend – — because that’s what they are. (People just know it when someone approaches them in kindness.)

Next we need to check our memory bank for the times God has popped up in my life. These are moments of joy or sorrow, success or failure, where I cried out to God and He heard me, or a joy beyond all expectation filled my heart. These are my life’s faith stories, my God history. These things I know, not because I read about them, but because they happened to me personally. These are the things that Christ asks me to share with my neighbor when the Holy Spirit moves.

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Sooooo . . . . Sometime you might consider:

• Telling a friend or co-worker who’s facing sickness or sadness or some worry in life, “I will say a prayer for you each day this week.” And then do it!
• Telling a troubled teenager about a time in your own youth when things seemed impossible. But “You can do this. I’ll pray and God will help. I know because God has helped me.” 2 Cor. 1:4.
• Inviting a friend to come to mass with the promise of “breakfast on me” afterward.
• Sharing with someone what you have learned in life that relates to your faith. (Telling your story about: telling the truth, purity in relations, going out of your way to help, etc.)
• Let people see you make the sign of the cross, saying grace before meals, blessing your children.
• Do something for others. No expectations for a “thank you”, just a kindness that speaks all by itself.

You’ll know what to do. The Holy Spirit will whisper it to you.

Fr. Tim

The Parish Council has decided it will address an issue that has been with us for years. How can we as a parish reach out to our fellow Catholics who, for whatever reason, decide not to be a part of our worship and parish life?

In the past we thought to research “Why” people choose not to come. Maybe there was some past hurt or grievance they felt from the church. We wanted to find out and try to reconcile with them.

We thought of a census that would knock on every door within our parish boundary. “Are there any Catholics living in this household?”, we would ask. If so, “are you aware of living within the Holy Trinity parish boundaries? Would you like to enroll in our parish OR perhaps just take this bulletin with the mass times on it?”

We could do a saturation mailing asking three brief questions: Catholic? Registered? Care to join us? We’ve considered all these “outreach efforts”. But to each one, for various reasons, we’ve decided “no” (at least for the time being).

But now there’s something new and easier, and we think more effective. This Sunday you heard Council member, Bob Feeney, tell us how each of us with a simple touch on our smartphones can send a message to friends and family who follow you on your Facebook page.

Without repeating what you’ll find on the flyer in this week’s bulletin, I’ll just say “You can be a Holy Trinity mail deliverer.” That’s right. Holy Trinity is going to fill our Facebook feed with some inspirational messages, some videos, and news about Holy Trinity.

All you have to do is view them and pick out the stuff you like and then hit “share” and the message will go out to all your friends on Facebook. Think of it . . . watching Fr. Tim and Fr. John tell how they became priests AND STAYED PRIESTS. OR, hear a mother of three tell how she gets the kids to mass on Sunday. There’s tons of timely messages we can send to your friends who never join us at Holy Trinity.

BUT WE NEED YOU! This effort is only as good as you and your efforts to get our message and then share it with friends. You can do this sitting on your couch at home. It’s that simple.

Don’t have a Facebook page? We’ll help you. Stop by the Welcome desk after mass these next few weeks. Read the instructions we’ve put on the flyer in the bulletin.

Be a missionary to your friends who don’t know the blessings flowing from our Catholic Faith here at Holy Trinity.

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Last Sunday we had our first High School Sleep-In Sunday. Thirty-seven teens joined us for mass (done in a Youth Festival sort of way). We followed with food and then a Twitter start up for the high schoolers to go to their smart phones. (Teens: Check the bulletin this Sunday for instructions on how to get tweeted).

More events coming up. Stay tuned!

Fr. Tim

Visit the STAR Program page for detailed information.

Saturday, October 27 at 10:00 am

One of the most debilitating things about sickness is not the pain, or the fatigue, or the fear (each of these are, of course, part of the cross sickness brings). No. One of the biggest sufferings is how illness separates us from those around us, our families, friends and community at large.

It may mean being confined to home or quarantined from those closest to us. It may mean being unable to participate in everyday activities that bring us together with others. Perhaps most upsetting is the feeling of being “set apart”, different from others. (The thought, “I’m sick.” Everybody else is “ok”.)

Holy Trinity Church has scheduled a Eucharistic Celebration with the Anointing of the Sick. This is the chance to bring some of your health concerns to the Lord in the context of mass and this faith community.

You are not alone! The Lord and Holy Trinity hold you dear to our hearts in prayer. There will be special seating for those who wish to be anointed that morning.

WHO SHOULD BE ANOINTED? The guidelines for the sacrament say “any persistent and serious concern for one’s health …..”is reason for someone to request the anointing.” Health concerns such as depression, anxiety, addiction, spiritual doubt and chronic pain are all sufficient to receive the anointing. There will be no questions asked. Simply indicate your wish to be anointed.

Come by yourself or better . . . bring a friend. Experience the healing and comforting Hand of God working through the Sacrament of the Sick and the care of this parish.

God bless you.

Fr. Tim

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Pet Blessing Results

Holy Trinity really went to the dogs last Sunday (about 30 of them!)
There were big ones and little ones and in between ones. Three cats showed up in their cages plus African Pygmy Hedgehog.

All (pets and people) were blessed and sprinkled with holy water. Fr. Tim got over his initial queasiness and was even seen petting one of them! Please enjoy the following photo’s which were supplied to Holy Trinity by Jackson Thomas.

High Schoolers . . . Stay in bed!!!

That’s right. Next Sunday morning (October 14) all high school students are encouraged to stay in bed. Just think of it – – – no, “Oh mom do I HAVE to go to mass?” No, “None of my friends have to go. Why do I?” Stay in your room and . . . sleep!

How long you sleep in is up to you. But if you want to make a really good impression on mom and dad you might think about making some toast and eggs to be waiting for them when they get home (from mass, hopefully).

So what’s the deal? Why no mass next Sunday morning?

BECAUSE THERE’S A SPECIAL MASS FOR ALL HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS NEXT SUNDAY NIGHT AT 7 PM. (THAT’S THE ONE YOU NEED TO BE AT!!!!)

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So what’s so special about this mass? Well . . . you’ll be there and maybe you’ll bring a friend. There won’t be any adults except for Fr. Tim and two or three parents who helped make this get-together possible.

High schoolers are in charge. You’ll do the readings for mass, you’ll plan the music, you’ll do the petitions (Lord Hear our Prayer) . . . and . . . you’re going to have a chance to give your thoughts about the readings at homily time.

We hear every week what Fr. Tim or Fr. John thinks. Next week is your chance to say what YOU think.

So sleep in that morning and bring a friend that night to Church at 7 pm. Mass should last about 40 minutes.

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AFTER MASS —- PIZZA & CELL PHONES

What’s a teen gathering without food? Bring your appetite ’cause there will be pizza for everybody.

While we eat there’s going to be a start-up of a social media platform that’s just for the high school students at Holy Trinity. Bring your cell phone that night and be ready to get this new app up and running.

It’s going to be a twitter feed you can access to find a spiritual message for the day. There will be a prayer request section for any needs you want prayed for. There will be a place where you can ask Fr. Tim for advice or get clarification on some issue you want to learn more about.

We’re just beginning this new initiative, so we need you to give us your ideas of what would be a help for you and your friends.

So . . . . . see you next Sunday night, 7 pm in Church. We’ll get you back home by 8:30.

Parents. Share this post with your high schooler. Encourage them to attend. Let’s do something new and good.

The glorious season of autumn is about to happen. God bless you.

Fr. Tim

A wise and holy priest once told me that there were times when his only felt connection to God came in listening to his conscience. Prayer is dry and without feeling, the mass becomes “routine” with no inspiration, the Church seems terribly slow and out of touch with real life . . . . God seems so distant.

At such moments the only light that shown in his darkness was the light of his conscience. Sometimes God lets this happen. So let’s look at “Conscience” to see how we might meet God.

First off conscience is “a judgement of reason” which moves a person to do good and avoid evil. “It recognizes the authority of truth” pointing to God, the Supreme Good. “When he listens to his conscience, the prudent man can hear God speaking.” (Catechism of The Catholic Church. P 438).

Think of a lantern you carry into a dark room. The light makes visible what is real and present. “Reason” is that light humans have in their very nature. It is our ability to swim in an ocean of truth.

Reason must be accompanied by freedom and will. Without these two an act has no responsibility (morality) attached to it. Without freedom an act is coerced. Without our will we haven’t chosen or “owned” the act; it is merely accidental or unintentional.

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So how does all this connect me to God? Well . . . following my conscience is to experience the “messenger of Him, who, speaks to us behind a veil.” (John Henry Cardinal Newman 1885).

The problem today is we lack the training to become sufficiently “present to ourselves”. There is a certain “interiority” required to hear and follow the voice of our conscience. It comes from prayer, quiet time with ourselves, good reading, virtuous friendships.

Kids especially need help putting down their iphones to listen to their own thoughts and feelings – – their own personhood. This quiet opens the door for the Holy Spirit with his gifts to present the knowledge and practice of the interior law.

Parents. You have the best seat in the house when it comes to teaching conscience. You are there to help your child “listen to that voice in your heart.” You are there to celebrate and praise the times your child “does the right thing” (thus adding to the voice of conscience that they just heard and followed).

You are also there when the voice of conscience went unheeded and dishonesty or meanness came forth. Parents, you need to sit and lovingly help your child “see and hear” that inner voice. Not every instance require this teaching moment but sometimes God just puts it on a platter for you. Use it! Share a suitable moment from your life when you listened (or didn’t) to your conscience. A true life story from mom and dad!

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In the end you are giving your child a compass, a tool that will guide them in moments of temptation and confusion. You give them a connection to their true selves and to God. “For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God . . . it is his most secret core and sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose vice echoes in his depths.” (Vatican II, Gaudium et Spes #16).

God’s got you . . . quit squirming!

Fr. Tim

It’s Monday and I’m sitting here trying to find something that interests me (and maybe you) to go on the front of the bulletin.

You probably know by now I write about stuff that interests me. Naturally I think it will interest you as well! Sometimes it does. One person might even say they read all of it. That’s success!

But enough about what interests me; time has come to ask you. What are you reading these days? What questions are running around your head? What topics/thoughts do you wrestle with at night?

We’re not talking about “finding peace in the Middle East or ending world hunger”. (Better, holier minds will help us with those). Let’s talk about things that touch our lives every day. Let’s see what these things become when we look at them with Faith.

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So send me your thoughts and questions. Give me your opinions on things. I promise never to use names or any details that people would know it was you. I also promise to write you back an email if you take the time to write to me. (Fr.Timothy.Horan@dor.org)

Of course I’ll pick and choose which thoughts to respond to in the bulletin. WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND? Feel free to write me. I’ll do my best to share them in the bulletin and add my own to them as well.

And your summer? I hope these precious months brought time for family and recreation. I was able to get back to Ohio to see my sister Maureen – twice. My golf was as crummy as usual but fun. Read a few good books.

And now . . . the deluge! Religious education starts, RCIA kicks in, The CMA begins in a couple weeks. I’m so glad you are with us in our new pastoral year. Let’s do all things well . . . for Him.

Fr. Tim

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We thought you would like to see who won the Golf Tournament last weekend. It was a great time, and fun was had by all. Many thanks to the Vitale Family and all the volunteers for organizing this event.

Our winners, left to right: Mark DeBacco, Denny Long, Danny Angarano, and Jim Vitale.