I’d like to share with you something a wise old priest told me some 40 years ago. It changed my life. It can change anyone’s.

First you need to know the turmoil I was in as I contemplated whether or not I could live life as a priest. Back and forth I went; sometimes I felt confident and excited about this way of life. Other times (equal in frequency) I felt overwhelmed by my selfishness and ability to find fault with everything and everybody. How could I possi- bly be a priest with such an attitude?

So all tied up in knots, I went to my friend, Fr. Francis. “Father”, I said, “I don’t know if I can do this (priesthood). But I don’t want to let God down. If I leave, maybe God will be upset with me.”

Fr. Francis laughed. “Tim, do you think God needs you? God will accomplish his will either with you or without you. Nothing can keep God from finishing what he’s started. Bottom line . . . God doesn’t need you Tim.”

I was shocked. “You mean I’m free to leave? God won’t be mad at me?” “Yes, you’re free to leave. He won’t be mad.”

I can’t describe the huge weight that lifted off my shoulders at that moment. Suddenly it became clear what God was doing. He was offering an invitation. And it was just that . . . an invitation, a gift.

Did I have to accept it? No. Would there be other gifts and invitations? Yes. Could I choose another way of life that would be pleasing to God? Of course. That’s the way God is. He never gives up on us. Never takes his ball and goes home.

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Ah, but God knows our deepest happiness, and has a grace (gift) prepared to offer us if we want to say “yes”.

So let’s talk about you. What is God offering you to participate in? The answer most times comes in looking at the “here and now”. What’s your situation? Married? Children? Student? Single? Sad? Feeling blessed? Need money? Worried?

Whatever and wherever you find yourself – – – There is God’s Spirit. In each of these situations there is work to be done. This present moment contains an invitation to co-operate with God in bringing goodness (Christ) to the world.

We can wish we were somewhere else. Perhaps it was our thoughtlessness or selfishness that got us where we are. In the end it doesn’t matter. What matters is “right now”. God is with you (Emmanuel). What do you feel called to do with God’s help?

And it’s in saying “yes” to God and his invitation that we discover a “lightness” to God’s will. A new purpose suddenly appears where before there was confusion, frustration, sadness. “Learn from me for I am meek and humble of heart. And you will find rest . . . . for my yoke is easy, my burden light.” Mt. 11:30

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This week we begin a new year. Maybe this time we can begin to see the invitation God gives us to partner with Him. Remember. It’s an invitation. God doesn’t need you silly. He WANTS you.

“Lord, here I am. You know I’d be in a better place if I’d only listened to you. But that doesn’t matter now. What matters is that, with your help, I start to do what you’ve put into my heart to do. You’ve been there all along, haven’t you? But now Lord I see. And now I want to do things your way. Please help me.”

Happy New Year. God is with you.

Fr. Tim

The following article has appeared in this bulletin twice before and was read as part of the homily for the fourth Sunday of Advent this year. Several people have asked if a copy of it may be obtained and so it is offered here below.

During World War II, a French writer being held captive by the Nazis was asked by his fellow POW’s to write a Christmas play. This writer was an atheist, but his words speak profoundly. As he describes the characters in his play, he writes this about Mary:

“The Virgin is pale as she looks at the child. If I were a painter, I would paint an anxious amazement on her face that has only appeared once on a human face. For the Christ is her child, the flesh of her flesh and the fruit of her womb. She carried him for nine months and she will feed him at her breast. Her milk will become the blood of God. For a minute the temptation is so strong that she forgets that he is God. She squeezes him in her arms and says – “My little one.”

But, at other times she remains bewildered and she thinks “This is God!?!” and she is overcome with awe for this silent God, this unique child.

All mothers have a moment when they feel like exiles in the presence of their own children, when they realize that the new life created inside of them has his or her own foreign thoughts. This particular child, most of all, exceeds the limits that his mother, Mary, can imagine.

But there are other moments, rapid and fleeting, when Mary perceives by faith that the Christ is her son, her little one, and that he is God. She looks at him and she thinks: “This is my child. This is divine flesh. He is made from me. He has my eyes, and the shape of his mouth is the shape of mine. He looks like me. He is God and He looks like me.”

Remember Christmas lasts for eight days. Share your joy!.

Fr. Tim

The Incarnation . . .Impress Your Friends.

Do you like fancy words? They can be fun sometimes just because they sound cool . . . anaphora, oxymoron, protean (look ’em up!).
Here’s your word for the Christmas Season – – – Incarnation. It means “to become flesh”. It’s what happened when your dad winked at your mom and she smiled back. Their love became incarnate . . . in you!

And that’s what happened when Mary said “Yes” to the Holy Spirit. God became incarnate in the child Jesus. The whole Christmas Season echo’s this one astounding fact – God the Invisible One has become a human being . . . and that means “in the flesh”.

In my youth I thought it would all work out. This world would get it together. Good people, working together for the common good, would make this world a happy place.

If we just put our minds to it, we can solve the problems that cause so much pain in the world. Hunger, poverty, hatred . . . are all fixable if we just work together.

I don’t believe that anymore. Something is broken. (Of course, we keep trying….that’s why God put us here. Read on.)

Even on our best days, there’s just something in the human condition that causes us to go off the rail. This dark pull causes many to turn to an anxious life of getting and protecting what they can. A suspicion about people’s motives keeps us from trusting each other. And on and on.

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But something outrageous has happened.

Someone has come into the world to show us how to fix the downward spiral of selfishness. God, who is love, has come to make “all things new”. There is in the human heart a self-inflicted wound that brings fear, greed and other nasty things. But the remedy God provides is beyond our wildest expectations.

The short of it is, God gives us a new heart . . . a heart like His.

How will this happen? (Here’s the mind boggling part). God became a human being. God took a human heart (God’s human heart . . . think of it!). Born of Mary, his human name is Jesus.

He has the only remedy deep enough and true enough to break the chains of the selfishness that grips the world. How will Jesus show us this life changing love? (Get ready. This is the part that’s hard to understand.) He will have to die.

Why does he have to die? Because love can only “love to the end”. And by dying, Sin has finally met its match – – – a love that is willing to die at the hand of the hater for the purpose of revealing the love of God for humanity.

St. Paul tells us, He “became sin for us. He who knew no sin.” (2Cor. 5:21) And he took all that sin can do and KISSED IT! Taking it in his loving arms down with him when he died. “Father forgive them, they know not what they do”. (Lk. 23:34.) Sin and Death died in Christ. It’s a kind of love never seen before.

God’s not done.

He will raise this noble heart of Jesus to a new life in the Resurrection. And here’s where we get a new heart. We now are reborn by the grace of God. By adoption we be- come Children of God and begin a new life “in Christ” seeking to live as Christ lived.

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This changes everything. There is something really new here. Now there is Hope. Hope that, with Christ (ONLY with Christ. . . we’ve tried everything else!) . . . with Christ we are reconciled to one another since we have all been loved and saved by Christ who kissed us in our sin. He lives in you. He lives in me.

We are brothers and sisters in Christ who has loved us all. Let’s let the world know.

But first, on this fourth Advent Sunday, we wait and pray. “Lord, come into my heart. Change me. Help me to trust in your promise that I can live a new life.”

A blessed Christmas to you and your loved ones.

Fr. Tim

I was visiting friends for a dinner celebration not long ago. A daughter had come home for a visit with her husband and their two little children.

By the end of the meal, the youngest child (about 2 yrs. old) began to fuss and cry that she wanted to go home. For all the gentle attempts on the part of mom and dad, nothing would calm her.

Finally the wise young mother announced that her daughter was tired and overwrought from all the excitement and off they went to cuddle up in the bedroom, just the two of them. The child returned about an hour later, smiling and ready to enjoy the family.

I started thinking this young girl was a lot like us this time of year. Don’t you feel sometimes like you’ve come to the end of your rope? You’re trying so hard to make this a memorable time for friends and family; gift buying, cooking, visits to relatives, planning special events. (And oh . . . don’t you dare forget anyone.)

We can get sad and empty. Everything is pouring out of you till there’s nothing left to give. Tears. “What’s wrong?” we wonder.

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What’s wrong? Nothing. You’re OK. It’s just that, like the child, you’ve gotten overwrought. Too many plans, too many connections, too many hopes for everyone’s happiness. It’s overwhelming. You can’t do it all.

So how can we avoid a pre-Christmas melt down? A couple things come to mind . . . see what you think.

First. Sadness comes to all of us. (Especially if God has given you a tender heart.) You see things that make you sad; poverty, disappointment, suffering, innocence dashed. We feel these things more at this time of year than any other.

Embrace it. It’s part of life here on earth. It’s why God sent His Son to be born among us – – to set things right. To reveal God’s radically different kind of love, one that embraces the darkness of the world in order to “make all things new”. Rev. 21:5.

But . . . it’s not set right quite yet. God’s plan has not fully unfolded. Christ is letting you share a little bit of His longing till it is fulfilled. Don’t run away from these feelings. They can bring you closer to Jesus.

Second. “Get small”. What did our mothers tell us? “It’s the little things that count.” Big things like parties, or presents, or visits, take planning and organizing. The little things are right in front of you (in the moment). Try a nice smile to the check-out person, let someone go in front of you, look for the sadness (see above) in others and offer kind words. Hey . . . do to others what you’d like to be given you. You’ll figure it out . . . just be human.

Third. Like the child and her mother, cuddle up with God. Go to your room (Mt. 6:6). Spend some time in prayer. Every day. Like a mother, the Lord will calm you and remind you that you are His child and together (not by yourself!) you can bring a love to your family and this world that is real and simple and powerful in its own way.

So here we go now. Embrace your sadness. Get small. Pray every day. And wait . . . Joy is coming!

Much love,
Fr. Tim

(This is an oldie, but the message still applies)

So here we go . . . the mad dash to Christmas. I’m sure you saw the pictures of people (perhaps you were there yourself) waiting in line to begin shopping.

Adding to the frenzy is the dismantling of the firewall around Thanksgiving. This holiday has traditionally been most pristine in observing family traditions — the parade, visits to grandparents, football, the table, the turkey, the prayer (“okay, everybody say what they’re thankful for.”)

Not anymore. It’s just like any other day now. “Stores are open for your shopping convenience. Get a head start on your Christmas gift list. Have that turkey, then join us for our huge holiday savings!” One poor fellow was quoted in the paper, “I know it’s Thanksgiving but I have to buy my kids some stuff.”

Somehow we’ve gotten things out of order. The tail is wagging the dog.

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There’s a remedy for this. It’s called Advent. These next

four weeks are a time of waiting, reflecting, praying. It is a time where, with God’s humble birth soon to come, our hearts can soften and a freshness to life be restored. It is a joyful time of expectation. Advent is sort of like that happy buzz in the theatre while everyone waits for the curtain to go up.

So how can you celebrate “waiting”? What rituals help us understand “expectation”? Advent helps us experience what we call “less”. Or another way to express it . . . “without”. Here are some suggestions to help your Ad- vent waiting. (I don’t mean to sound like a Grinch here but I think these will help prepare for the great Feast of Christmas).

• Avoid the “Christmas Specials” on television…the ones that have Santa and huge happy endings with everyone singing and clapping. It’s not Christmas yet.
• Avoid listening to the popular carols (Jingle Bells, We wish you a Merry C, Joy to the World, Silent Night, etc.). Christ hasn’t come yet. Handel’s Messiah is great Advent music.
• “Small”, “Quiet”, “Slow” are good. (Big, Loud, and Fast tends to get us tense and anxious.)
• Red and gold throughout the house says Christmas . . . try silver, blue and purple during Advent. I sound like Martha Stewart!!
• “Secrets” are great ways to prepare for the Christ Child. Do something really nice for someone. Do it in such a way that they will never discover you were the one who did it!
• Lower your expectations. This will NOT be. .”the best Christmas ever!” It will be good and holy in just the way God wants it to be for you . . . if you practice the Advent spirit.
• Teach the children/grandchildren to appreciate the small and humble way God chose to come to us. Find some small little task to do with a child to “get ready” for the Feast. (Bring your child to church during the week; light a candle for someone they choose and say a prayer).
• Sadness often comes at Advent. We’ve all suffered some loss that the season puts us in touch with. Let any Advent sadness we have soften our hearts for others. There is always someone who suffers more than me. Pray for them in the midst of your sadness.
• You are your best gift to others. You can bring a new freshness to your affection for people. Let yourself be renewed by the wonderful quiet and smallness of Advent.

Go slow. God bless you!

Fr. Tim

I’ve said many times that creating a family and raising children is the toughest job in the world. Parents are heros. One of the things that makes family life such a challenge is the culture we live in. Its values and goals so often conflict with the life experiences we want our children to have.

Most parents want the “best” for their family. But what is the best? Current social norms encourage families to “go for it all”. Sports, social media, cell phones, video games, internet browsing, cable TV are all part of the fabric of young family life.

Each in themselves can be harmless and, at best, recreational and restorative. But, as in all things, “too much” causes overload and the breakdown of the peaceful flow of human relationships.

It was recently reported that teens were spending more time on the computer and cell phones than in daily sleep! A local college chaplain told me the biggest challenge he had in helping his young students was to get them to put down their cell phones and iPads to talk to each other!

In all this, we are losing something precious . . . the fun and satisfaction of talking and relating with each other. Strong measures to correct this are needed and will, at times, take courage and wisdom to deal with the resistance.

One step you can take is the family meal (especially on Sunday). Does your family have dinner together? Maybe not every night given people’s crazy schedules – – – but more times than not during the week, families should sit at table to eat and share stories about the day or upcoming events.

It’s not that any one hilarious story or deeply meaningful comment will happen; that’s not the point. What’s happening is the wider event — we’re caring for each other. We’re learning about our lives together. The dinner table is where we show each other “I’ve got your back”, “We are a family”.

Think back. I bet you could tell five really good stories about your dinner table growing up. Funny stories, stories of tears and melt downs, stories of deep sharing. Parents it’s up to you to show your children how important dinner together is. You’re there to create memories.

One pastor I served under (a difficult man at times) insisted that I be at table for dinner at the rectory. I bristled at first, wanting to watch the evening news and eat on my own schedule. These meals over time let me see the really good man my pastor was.

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Here’s an old Dinner Table Story from Fr. Tim’s youth. We had a dog named “Penny”, a copper colored weiner dog. This dog had free run of the back yard and, as dogs do, Penny would leave her “droppings” everywhere.

As we headed out to play, mom would remind us to “watch where we stepped”. Well guess who didn’t? No sooner had we finished Grace before meal, that the odor told everyone someone had “stepped in it”. “Check your shoes everybody” dad would say. Yes, it was me. No shouting or finger pointing . . . just go clean off your shoes or even better take them off. Returning to the table, the offense having been removed, we all could enjoy our dinner.

I’ve told Fr. John this is the perfect image of Purgatory (you can’t sit at the Banquet of Heaven with “you know what” on your shoes). Clean ’em off and you’re welcome at the table. He’s not buying it.

God loves you very much.

Fr. Tim

The work of a parish priest gives the chance to observe people in many different life situations.

The elderly smile and shine with pride when their children and grandchildren are home visiting, the steely de- termination of parents as they sacrifice for their children, and nervous newly engaged couples approaching the church to plan their wedding. Also, a stay in the hospital tends to bring out anyone’s true colors. We priests see it all.

But the ones that touch me the most are our young children and teens. They’re so “out there”, so new and raw, so . . . wonderfully goofy. Let’s marvel for a moment at our young ones.

Doesn’t it kill you when . . .

• They smile that kid’s smile. It’s radiant without their knowing it. The smile doesn’t have the slightest notion of what we know (that heartache isn’t too far down the road.) “Oh,” we say, “If only they could stay here.” So beautiful.
• A young person shows off some talent or favorite activity getting friends or family to smile and applaud.
• The girls break into singing the current youth “anthem” at a party or game. They’re so free in that happy way.
• The boys power down unbelievable amounts of spaghetti and get hungry 20 minutes later.
• The whole school turns out for a prayer service for one of their sick classmates.
• They try putting on some idea of adult behavior just to see how it feels.
• They collapse in tears and fall into your arms . . . and still want you near them.
• After days of whining and selfishness they come out of themselves and do something amazingly thoughtful for someone. “Yay! It’s working!”, parents think for a moment.

And don’t you wish you could . . . . . you know . . . control their lives!

• Spare them the hurt you know life eventually hands out?
• Let them see what you see in them (how wonderful they are)?
• Give them the confidence they need without them having to earn it through trial and error?
• Choose their friends?
• Spare them bad, impulsive choices?
• Find the perfect job, boyfriend, girlfriend, roommate?
• Get them to experience God’s Spirit working in their life?
• Ensure their happiness and safety throughout their lives?

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So the question for parents and grandparents is this:

Do you think God is any less in love with these children than you? He made them!! He loved them so much He gave each of them an irrepeatable personality, style, and soul. He loved them so much . . . God gave them YOU.

Jesus was serious when he said, “Watch the wild flowers grow . . . they neither spin nor worry . . . yet not even King Solomon is as beautiful as these. Won’t God be sure to watch over you?” Luke 12:27-28

BUT! “Seek FIRST my will in your life,” says the Lord. “And these other things will come to pass.”

What’s God’s part? He is the Good Shepherd leading us and our children. What’s our part? To hear his voice . . . and follow.

God is with you. Trust Him.

Fr. Tim

It’s scary sometimes how deeply we can feel anger or resentment toward someone or some situation. I’m not talking about being “annoyed” or “frustrated”, something you wish were different but “hey, we’ll deal with it.”

No this goes deeper. It surprises us with how hot it gets us; our reactions can be so strong that we say or do something that has devastating effects, sometimes for years.

Try this one out – – did this ever happen in your family? It did mine. I was a teenager (I’m guessing 13 or 14 yrs. old). I can’t even remember the issue now (some minor “no” to something I wanted to do); but I remember the flash of intense anger I felt and the words I spoke to my mother.

“I hate you!” I said. “I wish I had a different mother!” (I’m feeling the shame of those words as I type this). My mother of course, being the adult and knowing her son could be a spiteful boy, walked away from this awful moment (perhaps to cry).

I look back on this incident some 50 yrs. ago and wonder how my parents didn’t put me up for sale! How can anger be so strong? How does it completely overwhelm our reason and better instincts? I don’t know. It just does.

It may go back millennia to the fury we needed to survive in the hostile environment of the animal wilderness.

What I do know is . . . it is NOT God’s will that we act that way. Rather, “Get rid of all bitterness, passion and anger, no more hateful feelings. Instead, be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another.” Ephesians 4:31.

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This is exactly what my mother did. And in doing this selfless act of parenting she saved her son. Years later I would recall that moment to her and how her sad but silent walking away showed how much she loved me.

I tell this story because I know some families who have allowed words (thoughtlessly spoken) to become a giant chasm between parent and child or brothers or sisters. For some it has been years since family members have spoken to each other. As I say, it’s frightening how one moment of heated exchange can cost a lifelong friendship or worse, a brother or sister or parent.

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This same toxic anger is afflicting our political conversation. Both sides are infected, Democrats and Republicans. Each sees the opposing side as not just wrong or “misguided”, but they are seen rather as the enemy whose heart is wicked and whose intentions are cruel.

So long as we see our opponents as lacking character or moral goodness, there is little hope we can work to solve our common problems.

New effort must be constantly put forth to repair or renew tattered relationships – – – no matter how many times it takes. This is hard work and requires a basic trust in our neighbor’s goodness.

Where do we get the will to start again with that “stupid Democrat” or “blind Republican” or “foul mouthed child”? It comes in knowing that, despite present appear- ances (!), this is a Child of God. Christ shed his blood for them and for me.

So as scripture tells us we now have peace through the blood of Christ. “With his own body (Christ) broke down the wall that kept them enemies.” Eph. 2:14. In other words he died for us all.

If he refuses no one his redeeming love, can we?

Lord help us to turn the other cheek. It is your beloved child who strikes us.

God bless your week.

Fr. Tim

So there’s a lull in a conversation with friends and someone you know, but not all that well, asks you, “Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?” Everything stops, doesn’t it? Like a sudden wind that knocks you off balance, you struggle to respond in some appropriate way but you really are at a loss for words.

Catholics especially find it hard to answer this question. “I THINK I HAVE” might be our answer. Pressed further as to when and where you accepted Jesus someone might say “Well, I go to mass on Sunday”, “I don’t cheat anybody.” “I give to the United Way.” “Oh I don’t know.”

I don’t think it’s through any lack of faith that one is left in confusion. It’s just that we show our religion and faith in a different way. Taking Holy Communion at mass is probably the premiere moment for Jesus and me in the week. Yes, THERE HE IS, my Lord and Savior!

(Chances are, our inquiring friend would not understand this answer.) . . . And just before that we turn to each other and say, “The Peace of Christ be with you!” and we smile at each other and somehow I feel Jesus is with us.

That’s it. That’s Jesus and me. And is He my Lord and Savior? Of course He is!

However. . . that’s not enough. You see our faith is a gift that is meant to be shared. Christianity is not just about “Jesus and me”, it’s about Jesus, you and me, all of us together. Why else would Jesus leave the 99 safe in the meadow to search out the lost sheep?

So how do we uptight Catholics begin to share our faith? It starts with an attitude of affection. We have to like our neighbor, to genuinely care how they are, to be hap- py when they are happy and sad when they are sad. Not that everyone is our best friend, but everyone can count on us to be in their corner.

We want goodness to find Once we have our neighbor fixed in our hearts as “brother” or “sister”, we can speak to them as to a friend – — because that’s what they are. (People just know it when someone approaches them in kindness.)

Next we need to check our memory bank for the times God has popped up in my life. These are moments of joy or sorrow, success or failure, where I cried out to God and He heard me, or a joy beyond all expectation filled my heart. These are my life’s faith stories, my God history. These things I know, not because I read about them, but because they happened to me personally. These are the things that Christ asks me to share with my neighbor when the Holy Spirit moves.

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Sooooo . . . . Sometime you might consider:

• Telling a friend or co-worker who’s facing sickness or sadness or some worry in life, “I will say a prayer for you each day this week.” And then do it!
• Telling a troubled teenager about a time in your own youth when things seemed impossible. But “You can do this. I’ll pray and God will help. I know because God has helped me.” 2 Cor. 1:4.
• Inviting a friend to come to mass with the promise of “breakfast on me” afterward.
• Sharing with someone what you have learned in life that relates to your faith. (Telling your story about: telling the truth, purity in relations, going out of your way to help, etc.)
• Let people see you make the sign of the cross, saying grace before meals, blessing your children.
• Do something for others. No expectations for a “thank you”, just a kindness that speaks all by itself.

You’ll know what to do. The Holy Spirit will whisper it to you.

Fr. Tim