Holy Indifference

Back in my high school days our senior class had a motto which we would sometimes chant at school assemblies. . . “Who cares?!” You can imagine the Dean of Discipline’s displeasure.

The motto came from being immature. Thinking we knew it all. All attempts to show us the road ahead were met with “Who Cares?” I’m embarrassed to remember this after all these years.

There is, however, a very helpful and holy variation on “who cares”. It’s called Holy Indifference and it is taught by spiritual masters like Saints Ignatius of Loyola and John of the Cross.

Basically, it’s a willingness to let go of situations over which you have no control. The Serenity Prayer says it best. “Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . .” It is not a callous indifference to life. Rather, it is a spiritual surrender to what, in the end, is a trust that God’s will for me is more important than any passing want of mine.

This principle can guide us in simple everyday ways and in life’s challenges. Some examples:

• The weather. Can you make a sunny day? Can you make it rain for your back yard? Of course not. We can hope for these things but then . . . I will accept whatever happens as the way life gives it.
• The Buffalo Bills. Sure we wanted them to win that game (13 seconds left!) but they didn’t. After the initial disappointment, Holy Indifference tells us, “God still loves us. And it was a great season.”
• A young person sits waiting for a phone call from that “special person”. “I’ll call you”, they said. But they didn’t. Holy Indifference says, “They are free to do as they wish. I cannot make them. I accept this as the way it is to be.”
• Sometimes it involves more serious events. Some happy, some sad.
• A college you so wanted to attend says “no” to your application.
• A love relationship you tried so hard to foster has ended.
• You get the promotion you were hoping for.
• Your surgery went perfectly. No more cancer.

But how can we be “indifferent” or detached from the outcomes we so hope for? Are we saying “don’t care”, when in fact we care very much? No, that’s not what we’re saying. Jesus tells us, in fact, to pour out our hearts to the Lord. Tell God how things are and what you feel you need. In fact, keep asking over and over (Read Luke 18:18!)

But then . . . . let go. God knows better than you. Trust that WHATEVER happens, God foresaw it, and will bring good out of it in His own time. That friends, takes Faith. Faith in a God who loves us and wishes to bring us to be with Him in the Kingdom.

Not there yet? Still brooding over disappointments? Still feeling, “It’s not fair!” That’s very human. But Jesus calls us to a deeper awareness of what our life is to be about. “Your heavenly Father knows what you truly need . . Seek first the Kingdom of God and good things will be given to you besides.” Matthew 6:33

What then is Holy Indifference? It’s putting the love of God and neighbor before everything else. It means letting go of anything that keeps me locked up in “my wants”, when love beckons me to get over myself. This is true happiness.

God will help us.

Fr. Tim