Part of our training to become priests was to experience real life trauma in people’s lives. The thought is to get the man out of the pulpit and sanctuary and put him in a situation that is seriously out of control. See how this fellow handles tears and tragedy . . . can he still be a positive agent for the Faith? Can he help people whose life has just been crushed with tragic circumstances?
So off we went for a summer. We were chaplains for hospitals, jails, psych wards, others to first responder chaplaincy’s (police, fire, EMT).
I traveled to Dallas, Texas, to Parkland Memorial Hospital, an excellent 800 bed county hospital. One of the duties of the new chaplain was to be on-call over the week- ends. (Basically, you were called in on any human upset the head nurse thought necessary). All kinds of stuff happened, especially with a full moon.
One memorable night brought the death of an elderly, long suffering Grandmother. Though quite poor, she had raised a large family and they in turn were busy raising families of their own. They’d all been keeping vigil as the grand lady weakened daily.
About 3 in the morning I was called to the waiting room to help the family deal with Grammie’s death. Children and grandchildren were all there. The room was jammed – thirty people I’m guessing.
Just as I’d feared, they were going nuts. Screaming and crying, “Oh Grammie, how could you leave us?” The men were the worst. I remember one fellow in cowboy hat and boots on his hands and knees banging his head on the wall. Others were pulling at their hair (I’d never seen that before).
So what do you do? Fear and panic filled the room. One person’s cries caused others to howl. They were freaking out. This ship was sinking fast. I really can’t say I said a prayer – – I just went with my gut.
“Be quiet!!!!!!!” I yelled as loud as I could. Two or three times . . . “Be quiet!” Finally, the howling stopped and these big tough cowboys were all looking at me. (I had no idea what should come next). “God help me.” I thought.
Then came His grace. Somehow I thought . . . “give them something to do.” But what? “Men, comfort the women.” (As I said, the women were doing pretty much ok. But it got the cowboys out of themselves for that moment.) In a flash, everybody was hugging someone. Sanity came slowly back.
And that friends was a moment of grace far away from the pulpit and the altar. It was God in the Here and Now. God in the mess.
Have you experienced Him there? In a difficult moment with your spouse? Your child’s meltdown? Some unexpected incident? Bad news about a friend or loved one?
How does God help? Generally, I think God gives us something “to do”. Something really simple; like . . . say something. (Don’t say “Be quiet!”). How about . . . “I’m so sorry”, “You must feel terrible”, “Do you mind if I sit with you?” OR, perhaps just to listen, to touch (when appropriate).
Just something to break the awful tension of the moment – – your gentle voice can heal in the simplest of ways. Be that safe place for someone.
So what’s your situation? Married? Children? Student? Single? Sad? Feeling blessed? Need money? Worried?
Whatever and wherever you find yourself – – – There is God’s Spirit – this present moment.
We can wish we were somewhere else. Perhaps it was our thoughtlessness or selfishness that got us where we are. In the end it doesn’t matter. What matters is “right now”. God is with you.
Don’t be afraid.
Fr. Tim
