Wow, where do we start?
Let’s start with God’s idea for sex. God invented sex. There needed to be an energy, a force of nature, that would be so powerful that it would ensure the survival of an animal species and the human race. Genesis commands man and woman to “be fruitful, and multiply. Fill the earth . . . “. To do this, nature has equipped the sexual drive with an exquisite pleasure that accompanies the sexual act. Yay God!
So far so good. But, side by side with this wonderful plan is man’s habit of taking things too far. This “too far” is called Lust. The Catholic Encyclopedia tells us, “The disorder proper to the sin of lust is found primarily in the failure of the natural appetite for sexual pleasure to be guided by man’s reason”. One might say, “it’s my body, I’ll pleasure it however I like.” Or, “If it feels good, it can’t be wrong.”
The seeking of sexual pleasure for itself alone defeats the purpose of the gift of sexuality. Catholic moral teaching (Vatican II) tells us the essence of human sexuality is twofold: 1. To bring forth new human life (“be fruitful and multiply”) and 2. To unite the man and woman in a covenant of love and community of life. To act in accord with God’s plan for us brings the happiness of being in right relationship with what God created us to be.
But let’s get real. We need help with our sexual desire. Who of us hasn’t at some point been blinded by the power of sexual pleasure? Young people especially feel this energy in them as they make their way toward maturity. Nervousness, anxiety, social media, and peer pressure can all influence their sexual behavior. What help does our Faith offer?
There is a virtue called Chastity (or Temperance). It is given to us by the Holy Spirit. It is a grace that enables us to live our sexuality according to “right reason”. (Right reason is our knowledge of and participation in the source of all reason . . . God).
But get ready. This recognition of how things ought to be, requires an apprenticeship in selfmastery. We must train ourselves to be free from acting out of habit or compulsion. With- out the discipline of our eyes, our imagination, our relationships, we can become slaves to a selfseeking pleasure that de- faces our integrity as human beings. “The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he let’s himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.” CCC.2339
Key to this “self-mastery” is self-knowledge and prayer.
Self-knowledge – – – come on, you know in your bones when something is wrong. It feels dark. It wants to hide. It’s secret. It’s not love. (If you don’t recognize this about pornography, or hooking up, or lustful looking, you’ve lost something of your beauty as a proper lover.)
Prayer. Okay, you know it’s the right way to act but sometimes you just don’t have the will to do it. We’ve all been there. The devil comes in big time here to tell us it’s impossible to resist the power of lust. He’s a liar. And he hates it when we keep trying to be chaste even when we fail.
And that’s where prayer calls out to God. “Look Lord, you gave me this body, with these hormones, with these desires. I know how awesome they are. But Lord, they’re so strong help me to use them as you intended. Because in the end I know this is the way to happiness.”
Don’t give up. Ten thousand times. God loves you and will answer your prayer.
You’re beautiful.
Fr. Tim
