Addiction (Part 2). You can’t. God can.

Let’s begin this reflection with a promise given to us by God. “For I am convinced . . . that neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above or the world below, there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38.

That said, the power of addiction will be overcome by God’s grace. Period. God does not want His children in bondage. So we need to find a way to let the power of the love of God into this dark and scary place. How do we do that?

It’s probably best to turn to those who have experienced a release from their addiction. The first people that come to mind are our brothers and sisters in the 12 Step Program of Recovery. Over the years they have discovered a certain path to victory over addiction to food, alcohol, pornography, gambling, etc. These 12 steps, if followed with docility and humility, will lead to freedom from addiction.

I want to focus on the first three steps as I feel they hold the key to all that follows.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over __________.

Step 2: Came to believe that God (my Higher Power) could restore us.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives to the care of God.

Here I think is the genius of the 12 Steps. It comes by admitting we’ve lost the battle. The addiction is just too big and too strong to hold out against. Every time it’s me vs. my addiction . . . I lose. How do I know that? Be- cause I’ve tried a 1000 times to NOT do that and a 1000 times I failed.

So the key to “sobriety”, as they say, is to admit I’ve lost. It’s a moment of terrible honesty with oneself when we admit “I can’t control this. It controls me.” This takes real humility. Our enemy the devil, sows seeds of protest in our mind, “No!”, we say, “I could stop if I really tried. I’m not a loser here.”

That’s a lie. Here’s the terrible truth . . . I’ve lost the battle. It’s over. I’ll never overcome this addiction. We have to give up trying to fix this by ourselves. Because we can’t.

So . . . now what? Just give up and give in? Of course not! Something very positive has just happened. We’ve admitted the truth – “we can’t”. There is no shame in this. It’s just the way it is.

But now comes the positive side, something you can DO. Steps 2 & 3 point to a moment when “we came to believe that God will help” and “we made a decision to turn our will and life over to the care of God.” (I have to emphasize that this “came to believe . . . God” is totally blind and without a foothold. It’s like bungee jumping into the Grand Canyon . . . at midnight.) He’s there. Trust the promise.

It’s like saying, “I can’t God. But you can . . . if I get out of the way.” Then the daily repetition of these steps begins (sometimes out loud to God in prayer). “I can’t Lord. You can. I’m yours. Do what you want with me.” Daily . . . daily . . . we have to return to these steps: surrender, believe in that power beyond yours, and give Him charge of your life.

Slowly, sometimes quickly, the compulsion to engage your addiction weakens. It doesn’t go without a fight however. It uses many tricks and voices in your head to try to convince you how futile are your efforts. “You’ll never lick this. Think how boring and cold life will be without me to comfort you. You’ll never make it without me (your addiction).” All lies.

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So much more to consider on this topic, but for now I think if we focus on two things: 1. “I surrender . . . I’ve lost the battle.” and 2. “I’m in your hands Lord. I’ll be the clay; you be the potter.” You will begin to see God’s freedom dawn on you.

Enjoy these summer days.

Fr. Tim